This Girl

Do you know that sometimes when you are in the thick of things you really can’t see what others from the outside looking in can see?

That happened.

And I am so thankful.

At Tate’s second doctor’s appointment after he arrived home from China at the beginning of August, I was mentioning Eliza’s behavior as we talked about Tate.

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As we left that appointment that day, it was casually mentioned that we should get help for Eliza, because it sounded like her sensory challenges were interrupting our lives every single day.

They were.

But more like every single hour of every single day.

Blake and I were aware of Eliza’s sensory challenges from the very first morning that we had Eliza in our arms.

That morning when we opened the curtains that were over the giant windows in our hotel room in China, Eliza covered her eyes and started screaming.

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We have been limiting Eliza’s sensory world as much as we can, filling her days with controlled sensory activities, and trying to handle it from the training we had before we traveled to China to bring Eliza home.

It wasn’t until it was casually mentioned that we really should get help that I truly dug in my heals to learn ALL I could about sensory processing disorder.

It also gave me the drive to find a therapist that was available, and to continue to fight for the insurance coverage that needs to be approved to be able to see the therapist on a weekly basis. (still waiting on word on that)

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The Lord has blessed my efforts.

God is SO good that way.

And I am hoping that the words I use to tell you about Eliza’s amazing transformation will do it justice.

Eliza’s tantrums made no sense to me before.

They were so frequent and so random (so it seemed) that I could not tell what set her off.

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Once I studied about sensory challenges, I realized it was her sensory challenges in the form of sensory input that was setting her off.

Things like bright light, the wind outside, smells and noise.

I realized that Eliza’s brain cannot even handle the sensory input of our touch.

So simple really.

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This girl cannot be touched right now.

At least not the way we were touching her.

That light touch of my fingers through her hair as I read her a book?

No way.

The light touch of one of the kids rubbing her back as they said “Good job, Eliza!” for whatever she had done so well?

Nope. No can do.

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So I put out an order that no one is allowed to touch Eliza.

(This has not been easy, at ALL.)

The kind of touch Eliza needs is deep touch.

I have started using a technique called Wilbarger’s brushing.

I brush Eliza’s skin (arms, legs, and back) several times a day with a brush that resembles a mushroom cleaning brush.

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It is done with deep pressure.

The therapist taught me how to do it.

Eliza fusses when I start it, but instantly melts into the touch and sensation it allows.

It is helping her SO much.

SO, SO, SO much!

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Another thing we are doing with Eliza is handling her tantrums differently.

If she starts to come apart, I (or Blake) scoop her up in a tight hold, and either sit right where we are, go to the rocking chair, or get on the exercise ball and start rocking or bouncing immediately.

This vestibular motion helps Eliza reorganize herself.

Instantly.

Yes, I said instantly!

We are making sure Eliza swings and bounces at non-stressful times in her day too.

The results of these simple things has taken our breath away.

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Eliza has found her words.

I think they were here before all the tantrums, but it had gotten so bad, I am really not sure anymore.

Wearing clothes is a hard thing for Eliza.

Now as I am trying to dress her she will say to me, “No, Mom, not that one. It not working! It has a tag.”

So we cut out the tag, try it on, see if it works, no tantrum, and she is wearing clothes.

Getting dressed was a 45 minute ordeal full of melt-downs before.

Eliza is also saying things like “Mom, I so happy!”

“Mom, that smells bad. I no like!”

“Mom, I need to swing!”

“It is too loud! I no like!”

“Mom, I love bouncing!”

And my personal favorite is “Thanks, Mom!” followed by her initiating a huge hug!!

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Our sweet baby is hugging us.

Did you read that?!

Our sweet baby is hugging us!!!

Deep touch and motion are working miracles right before our eyes.

There is still SO much more we can do for Eliza.

We are earnestly praying that our insurance will see the need for this therapy.

Can you pray that way with us?

And please, please Praise the Lord for Eliza’s progress while you are at it!

May the Glory be His and His alone.

We love you so very much our precious Eliza Claire!

Another Day On The Farm

We are working on buckling things up here on the farm for the coming winter!

Even though the days have felt so warm and summer like, we know that the calendar says November is approaching.

Can you believe that?!

We are SUPER excited about that, because Baby K is due on October 31st!!!

Saturday was “big dump day.”

As I typed that, I wonder if we made that name up or if it is really called that!

We have to take our garbage to the dump every Saturday, but they set aside a couple Saturday’s a year that we can bring large items.

So, bye-bye old broken fridge! You served us well!

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Bye-bye old broken dishwasher that burnt up many months ago!

I am wondering how to cover up this big hole in the kitchen?

Our kitchen just gets more character to it everyday!

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Getting ready for winter means getting hay.

Like three loads of hay (so far)!

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Chad has not been well, and I even took him to the doctor to make sure he does not have pneumonia.

He doesn’t! So thankful!

But we forbid him to touch any of that hay.

Poor guy had to sit and watch.

Lane was a great helper though!

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The kids have been enjoying the hay loft every afternoon this past week!

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Fall on the farm is just so beautiful!

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Another great weekend on the farm!

Happy Monday, everyone!!

The Fog Is Lifting

Hello Friends,

I feel like we are coming out of a fog.

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I might not have been able to say that when I got up at 4:15 a.m. this morning to shower and get some things done – which is always done in an effort to have a morning where our sweet dimply cherub can visually see me 100% of the time.

He is an early riser.

And is not so on board with having me out of his sight.

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In the adoption world, the time just home from China is called “re-entry.”

I don’t think you will find one China adoptive Mama (or Dad, for that matter) that will tell you anything except that “re-entry” is hard.

There are many, many victories as the transition takes place, but it is still hard.

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We are slowly getting on the other side of “re-entry” and starting to talk about what our “new normal” will be.

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One of the hardest parts of this adjustment period is everything I COULD NOT BE for everyone else that I love so dearly.

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I am so thankful for the friends who have come along beside us these last months.

Ones that text or write an e-mail with no expectation of one in return – because they know we haven’t fallen of the face of the earth – but that we are hunkered down in this rambling old farm house trying to teach two traumatized precious children that they are dearly loved.

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Thank you, friends!

Thank you for every prayer said on our behalf.

Thank you for every card, text, comment and e-mail!

Thank you for your offers of help.

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We are hoping to widen Tate and Eliza’s world just a little bit and see what happens.

We are praying about what this looks like.

We know that filling our farm with people, like the days before adoption, is not the place to start.

The techniques I am using to help Eliza cope with her sensory challenges are working.

We have seen amazing change – it takes our breath away! – but she is still not able to keep calm in a crowd.

We are so pleased to be able to see her enjoy being outside on the farm just PLAYING!

That may seem like such a simple goal, but to us it is HUGE!

We have set other goals with Eliza’s therapist, but we are still working toward getting insurance approval to be able to see her once a week.

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So, here we are again, asking for prayer.

It fills my heart SO full to know that we have some serious prayer warriors as friends!

Please pray with us as we try to move into our new normal.

Pray for what that looks like, not only for Tate and Eliza, but for the other children as well.

Praise the Lord AGAIN that Tate is not having spinal surgery today.

The gift of time that the Lord gave us (before Tate has that surgery) is SO PERFECTLY PRECIOUS.

Your part in what the Lord has called us to is so important!

Your prayers have sustaining power.

Thank you for your prayers, dear friends!