I wonder if it would be better to post about yesterday after the emotional (and physical) exhaustion have worn off….but just those words alone will give a clear picture in our memory about yesterday when we look back at this post someday.
We prepped all the younger kiddos before bed Wednesday night about how Thursday morning would be.
Lane and Tate cuddled and wrestled in Tate’s bed while we talked!
Lane loves Tate SO much – and they are just precious together!
As we came into Madison yesterday morning, it was literally the crack of dawn.
I felt like the Lord was wrapping His arms around us with such a beautiful sunrise – to strengthen us for what lay ahead.
Tate did amazing on the ride there. He has always been so calm and easy while riding in the car seat – no matter how far!
Once we got close to Madison, he started asking to eat. Thankfully we were able to easily distract him! Thank you for your prayers for this and for our whole day!!
Once we were checked in, we were able to take Tate to the play room. Our smiley boy was already very somber…but he tried to play with us anyway.
Then it was time for sleepy medicine. Tate got super silly at first!
The sedated procedure (CMG) to check the pressures of Tate’s bladder took a couple of hours. Even with that sleepy medicine and some nitrous oxide he fought hard almost the whole time. Sweet boy, I am so sorry. It broke my heart. But I am so glad you were crying for Baba and Mama, and wanting us to hold you.
By our second appointment Tate was completely awake and had his sea legs back. And he was wild!
This appointment was with the neurosurgeon. There is a little concern about how “unhappy” Tate’s spinal cord looks, but without older scans to compare these new scans to, we really don’t know how “unhappy” it really is. The neurosurgeon has some decisions to make about that – and the test Tate had earlier that morning will help with those decisions. We do not have the results of all that yet.
It was at our third appointment that we found our sweet Tate’s limit. I think I found my limit too when we looked at image after image of Tate’s torso. I cannot find the words that would do any justice to those images and what we have to put our little ones through medically.
Maybe this photo will help.
The good news of this appointment was that the orthopedic surgeon wants to watch Tate for awhile before rushing into surgery. We danced down the hall on our way out of there! Really! We did!
By our last appointment, things got pretty rough. Blake left quickly with Tate, and I tried my best to listen and take it all in to be able to repeat it all to Blake. When I arrived at the van, Tate jumped into my arms – completely beside himself that I had been out of his sight that long on such a stressful day.
When Tate heard the words “no more doctors” and “we are stopping to buy treats and then going home,” he happily got into his car seat, held tight to my hand while we drove to the Co-op, and he even reassured my exhausted self with some of those dimply smiles.
Once all three of us filled ourselves with some treats (a cookie and sucker for Tate, coffee and chocolate for Blake and I!), Tate slept the rest of the drive home.
Blake and I were quiet. Once in a while we would speak and say something like “what exactly was it that the one doctor meant by so and so?” and then we would be quiet again.
I marveled at the beauty of the fall colors that have literally snuck up on us.
We live in God’s country for sure.
Today I have been researching and reaching out for help in how to deal with medical trauma in a child.
Tate is hurting when he goes potty from that procedure yesterday. He is smart. He knows that drinking and eating makes you go potty. So he has decided not to drink or eat today. I have also resorted to pull-ups for my perfectly potty-trained child. Perfectly potty trained until after that painful and scary procedure.
Tate will have a lot to endure medically throughout his whole life, and it is our goal to be as prepared as we possibly can to help him through it all.
I am happy to say, unless the neurosurgeon decides something surprising, that we do not have another doctor’s appointment scheduled at this point for Tate until March.
Blake and I feel so privileged.
What a privilege to be Tate’s parents!!
He is a GEM!!
Precious Savior, we are not worthy.